LOVE AND DEATH
This year was never about success. This year was about surviving. Because last year I was in a very dark place. And I asked for one thing:
Make the pain stop and go away.
That was my wish 31.10.2020. A year later I have been through a year that was exhausting. I have never dealt with so many themes and never broke so many unconcious bias. I opened up on the inside and what I found was truth. Some that had been silenced for over ten years by pressure, stigma and believes that were never mine. And here is what I have to say
I help people unleash their truth. It is uncomfortable and yes sometimes it also hurts. But this has nothing to do with shadows. This has something to do with the believe system and the cage of a construct that we have build around us, some more than others, to please others, to follow the norm and to fit into the picture.
I never fit in. The first nickname they gave me in school was freak. I was the girl that was different and yet the one that was super smart. But what do we do when someone can't fit the box? We press them in regardless. Because our logical explanation and the fact that someone has to belong somewhere in our understanding of society is more important than the individualism and letting someone live for who they are as a valid person for who they are. Even if you don't know it.
The in between. Too smart for a 9-5 and yet to underqualified to play with the sharks. Bisexual but not that kind we would like to sit with when you say you fancy men and other gender but not women. Demisexual but constantly believed to be Poly even though I am single and don't owe anyone an explanation of how many crushes I have or why. Non-Binary but not the kind of non-binary someone pictures as if it would ever have a certain look anyway. Diagnosed with Anxiety disorder but not accepted as health condition during school times because "you are just an exhausted teenager". Diagnosed with several physical muscular and nerve injuries but yet not enough diagnosed to pass the disability standard to be taken serious in hospital. European-Asian but "you don't look a certain way to pass as xyz" - Spoiler Alert: Mixed Raced People exist, so does the multiple layer construct of different bloodlines.
The list could continue. And this has nothing to do with someone else. This is my story and what I experienced.
But the part affects us all is the fact that we need change for diversity. This is beyond feminism. This is about every theme in life. We need to start celebrating difference as much as we need to aknowledge the stigma and unconcious bias around being different and knowing our own privilege.
A thrive for diversity is a thrive for each of us as human beings. It all starts with us and the bias we have inside of us. Dismantel your believe and start to ask questions. No one should have the feeling of the whole world on their shoulders. And no one is ever responsible on their own. Not everything is our fault and the stigma around "why should I care" is an implemented egoistical thought that made you believe your impact doesn't matter.
It matters. Just as much as Death and Legacy. Raise your awarness. Start asking questions. Be the change in the world that you want to see.
Because we all have two things in common. Love and Death. You can't deny love as much as you want but at the end of the day we all love something or someone. And this is the key. Matters of love are matters of humanity. And what this world needs is love after all. To build bridges. To break stigmas, boxes and labels.
This world may never heal. But the creation for a better tomorrow is possible. It's starts with all of us. So let's get to work.
